Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha: A Guide to Finding Your True Self

 "The world, my friend Govinda, is not imperfect or on a slow path to perfection. No, it is perfect at every moment; every sin already carries grace within it, all little children are potential old men, all sucklings have death within them, all dying people—eternal life.

Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha"

Siddhartha grows up as a person of outstanding intellect, character, and appearance, receiving the attention of all. Yet, within such a life, he feels a thirst for truth. To attain immutable value, he lives for a time as a monk, but soon realizes this method is not right for him. He awakens to the realization that the meaning of the divine is already in the phenomenal world, including himself. However, upon entering the world of pleasure with Kamala and Kamaswami, he loses his own composure. Unable to bear this, he attempts suicide, but in the process, rediscovers "Om" and is miraculously revived. Afterward, alongside Vasudeva, he learns to listen to the river, and through this, comes to understand and love the world.

 

Plato proposed his Theory of Forms, arguing that we should not remain in the phenomenal world but must directly perceive the essence of things through reason. In this way, we have long striven to overcome our imperfection by positing an immutable good. We have yearned for this untouchable ideal, bestowing upon it absoulute value, and in the process, reality was often ignored. We sought to change the real world to fit an ideal one. A similar mechanism operates when we form our self-image. We constantly evaluate and categorize ourselves, whether from our own perspectiveㅡa viewpoint itself largely shaped by othersㅡor through the eyes of the public. This process leads us to construct a curated self-image, often ebellished with idealized traits, to we then rigidly hold ourselves. In doing so, we may ignore our true inner voice. This is why the self we thought we knew so well can one day become a stranger.   

 

In one study, a researcher divided seminary students into two groupsㅡan experimental group given very little time and a control group with ample timeㅡand observed whether they would help a person in distress. The results showed that the latter group was six times more likely to help. This demonstrates how difficult the self is to define; it is easily swayed by circrumstances and thus cannot be judged carelessly.

 

The self that Siddhartha sought to distance himself from was the one submerged in senses and thoughts. From the beginning, he was unable to empty himself completely. While living as a monk, he could distance himself from material things, but he could not let go of his mental attachments and pride, at times looking down on others with a sense of superiority. However, as he gradually became more like an ordinary person, losing everything he thought was "his," he ironically found his original, (empty) selfㅡOm. He became able to see himself as he truly is.

 

Through the river, he realizes that the flow of time is an illusion. Just as the upstream flows to connect with the downstream, the past, present, and future are also a single unity. He comes to understand that all of creation is already perfect as it is, with the Buddha already within. Realizing that anyone can be swept up in anguish and desire, and that anyone can change at any moment, he feels that all are equal, which allows him to love the world.

 

In contrast, Govinda wishes to learn the principles of the world but fails to understand them until he meets Siddartha at the end.This was because he was bound by external teachings. We try to express out thoughts and feelings in words, but it is difficult to convey them fully. We can only surmise the extent of another's feelings through their actions, and even that is difficult if we have not experienced it ourselves. To interalize anything, a process of self-awareness is necessary. Until then, one can only make superficial proclamations in the words of others. Govinda confined himself within the framework of Nirvana created by Gautama and did not face the world directly. Relying on a standard that was Gautama'sㅡone that didn't always fit himㅡhis insecurity was inevitable.

 

We, too, are like Govinda. Amidst countless people, and now amplified by the power of media, a multitude of values exists. We are swept away by social systems and define our self accordingly, without properly listening to our inner voice. If someone seems to have succeeded, we may believe their path is the best for us as well and follow it blindly. But all that remains is the emptiness and anxiety that come from unfulfilled desires.

 

What important is to focus on the senses and thoughts that arise from our true self. If we lead our lives by following our inner voice without prematurely setting limits, we can realize the Buddha within us. For we are all  Atman, each containing Brahman, the essence of the world.